Wednesday, 11 April 2012

where to begin......

I've not been on for a while and when I do return, I like to see first what my friends in blog land have been up to first before I post. I read this post on Scarlets blog here and it all just came in a flood to me.
If you have followed my blog from the beginning you will know I set up this blog because my mum knew my old blog address from my eldest daughter. I could not stand the thought of my mum tracing my blog and reading about my life so I started this new blog. I don't let any of my family know details of this and never want them to know it. It's my space and I don't want to share it with anyone but my blogger friends. I know my Hubby could look into my computer background tomorrow and find out every page I've visited and what my blog is called but he  respects my privacy and will not search through my computer for info even though he is a computer genius.

Scarlets post brought back everything about my family I want to forget. I thought I had severed a lot of ties with my mum, then; yesterday evening before I was due to do my night shift my dad rang. This is the first time he has rang me in nearly a year. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad and keep in touch with him as much as I can through text but I will not phone him on his house phone because mum will give him a 100 and 1  questions on why I had called him. I don't call him on his mobile because of the same thing. Dads got to do what my mum says.

When dad phoned last night his tone of voice was very strange, not his usual self. I knew something was not right. After a nice chat (come to think of it, a very strained chat for dad) He said 'What I rang for Karen was....'  The call ended on me in tears and by the sounds of it, Dad was nearly in tears. All this accumulated because my mum had asked him to ring me about some personal money matters. Years ago , mum asked me to take out an ISA in my name with her money because she had used up her ISA allowance for that year and she had extra cash she wanted to invest. Dad rang to say mum wanted me to cash her ISA in and return the money. Do you know, I was gob smacked. It all boiled down to her not trusting me with her ISA. She thought because we had disowned each other I would try to steal her money! Won't tell you what I told my dad to tell her!

I came off that phone call in tears to Hubby. He just told me to put it all behind me, cash the policy in and be done with her. It just shows what a horrible cow she is. I have never in my life thought of taking their ISA and spending it on us. It just confirms I made the right decision to sever my ties with my mother!!!!

So sorry to vent my problems on you lovely people. But, I know a lot of you are going through the same situation as me.

Promise, back to a brighter post tomorrow xxxxxxx


  1. I have a horrible relationship with my mum as well. It's still horribly fraught with conflicted feelings even though she is now in a care home with advanced dementia. I do feel alot of empathy/sympathy for her but given our relationship prior to her illness I know I don't care as much as I should.

    You are not alone. Not all mothers are wonderful loving supportive types.

    Support from this end!

    Eeek xxx

  2. Hi that sounds like you are not in a very nice situation with regard to your mum & dad. I really feel for you & I know it cant be nice for you. Families can be complicated sometimes.
    thinking of you & wish I could say something to make it feel better xx

  3. Your husband's right Karen. Cash it in, return the money and that's it done with.Don't waste your tears or anger on her.

  4. I also think your husband is right, I consider myself very fortunate to have a good relationship with my Mum, but I really feel for anyone who does not. Sending hugs x

  5. Simply do as she asks, cash it in and send her the cash, with a lovely covering note telling her to enjoy it.

    If you wrong foot someone you make them think twice about their spiteful actions.

    Don't upset yourself over this, take the high ground you deserve to.

    Sue xx

  6. I'm with everyone on this one Karen. Get rid, get rid, get rid!!!

  7. I'm so sorry you're upset over this, Karen. I'm sure your mum won't have given it a second thought though, she won't be wasting her tears so nor should you. I'm lucky, I have a great relationship with my mum and dad, but Mick's family haven't spoken to us for over seven years now. I do feel terribly sad that he doesn't have his own family around him, except for his auntie and uncle who are great, but our life is so much easier now that we're not having to pander to his parents.

  8. They say you can choose your frends but not your family. You can keep your head held high Karen, like the other bloggers have suggested send the cash back and at least then its gone and won't hang over you. Stay strong xx

  9. I wholeheartedly agree with Miss Piggy Bank on this. Get rid of that money and she will not have anymore strings to pull.